Love Is Not Enough

April, 2012 · By detavio

“Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone – but not the complete structure.” -

When it comes to romantic relationships, we want love to be the end all, be all. We want it to be all we ever need–a to z and soup to nuts.  But, at the end of the day, it’s just not.  Love has its purpose but it also has it’s limitations, one of which, is it’s ability to keep people together.

The key to staying together is alignment, not love.  That’s why you can find couples that love each other to death, but split a part because they do not agree on how many children they should have (or if they should have children at all) or where they both should live or the respective roles they should play in each other’s lives.  On the flip side, you can find couples that no longer love each other, yet still stay together because of their agreed upon cultural or spiritual beliefs.  Or because they have agreed that they will stay together “for the children.”  Staying together “for the children” may also entail making an agreement not to sleep together in the same room or be intimate any more, but they can manage to stay together because they have managed to “agree.”

Don’t underestimate the power of alignment; it is one of the most critical aspects you will need to develop in a relationship if you plan to make it last.

Love provides a foundation.  Alignment keeps the structure together.  Making the whole thing work-takes a combination of the two. 


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ducks in a row - alignment
  • Chad L Beutler

    Detavio, very deep brother. Didn’t know you had such a phylosophical poetic side.