simply put, the answer is: tomorrow. we have grown to embrace too heavily the notion of “tomorrow.” we say: “i’ll do it tomorrow” or “once the kids grow up” or “once I have a certain amount of money in the bank i’ll do it.” we have a fixation with tomorrow because tomorrow gives us a reason to postpone action today. yet if we are honest with ourselves we would admit that, more often than not, tomorrow comes and goes and we find another excuse to give nothing today and push things off until the next “tomorrow.”

but tomorrow will never be picture perfect. you may never have the money you need in the bank to quit your job. your kids will always need you (and so will your wife). there will always be another excuse to say “tomorrow,” and thus give you another reason to do nothing today. knowing this, we must stop hesitating and start giving to our desired future, even it it’s only in inches. stop fooling yourself. quit waiting until tomorrow. start making love to your future today!

yet it is easy to forget the middle. it is easy to lose track of the piece that lacks the sexiness, excitement and intrigue of a new beginning. and it’s easy to ignore that, which does not carry the celebration or heaviness that comes along with an ending. nevertheless, the middle is where it all goes down. the middle is where we create change. and the middle is where we generate lasting impact. so get excited about your new beginnings and feel free to mourn or celebrate your endings; however, don’t forget to focus most of your energy on squeezing the most out of the middle because, the middle, is where we happen.

the truth is, just like there are different seasons throughout the year – spring, summer, fall and winter – we as people experience different seasons in our life. sometimes we will get to enjoy the beauty and excitement of summer, while other times we may be forced to endure those long, cold winters.  sometimes we will be in seasons of new birth and growth while other seasons will reveal signals that some of our life experiences are coming to a close.  the key is not that you learn how to avoid certain seasons, because that’s not possible, but that you learn to recognize what season you are in and adjust your behavior accordingly. perhaps things are off in your life because you are you wearing swimming trunks in the middle of freezing rain?  or because it is a time to be planting seeds and you are trying to harvest.

what season are you in?  know your season and adjust!

right now, many of us are in painful situations. we hate our jobs. we don’t have enough money to cover the bills of everyone in our circle. we have lost someone we care about by no choice of our own.  and/or the brands we manage continue to see declining sales.  but the longer we focus on the pain that stems from these challenging situations, the longer we will continue to feel pain.  stop seeing your pain as the problem and start fixing what is causing the pain in the first place.  that arm will never feel better until you go to the doctor and that hand will not stop burning until you remove it from the stove. until the problem is removed, your system (emotional, peer, adviser, etc) will continue to signal that damage is here or inevitably coming. and be wise enough to recognize that proper action does not always immediately eliminate the pain but it will put you on the path to recovery so you can heal (similar to going to see a doctor when you have a broken arm).

evaluate your life today. where are the places you feel pain?  ignore the pain, find the problem, and take action to solve it. what action is necessary to improve the way you feel about your job or close your monthly dollar gap or help you move past the feeling of deep loss or reverse the sales trend you are seeing?  the pain is there.  i know it hurts.  but it’s just your wonderful system letting you know that something needs your attention and it’s time for you to take action.

last year i started a new tradition.  because i am blessed (incredibly blessed), i have stopped asking for presents on my birthday and started asking for a different type of gift: for the people in my life to do something different in their life instead.  last year i asked you all to make one extraordinary choice that week.  i spent my birthday yesterday thinking of what i could ask this year, and i decided that this time around i am going to ask you to define something. anything.  pick one thing that you have failed to define in your life and define it right now.

what am i talking about?  over the course of the last few years i have truly realized the importance of defining things.  sometimes we call them goals.  sometimes we call them visions.  we call them lots of things.  it doesn’t matter; what matters is the truth behind why we must define things.  and the truth is, we can not accomplish or be that, which we have failed to define.

can you truly love someone if, to you, love is an ambiguous, escapable, magical term?  can you be a great man if you have not yet decided what it truly means to be a man (or at least reevaluated your definition since your teenagers years)?  can you be a great leader to the people you are asking to follow you if you have no clue of what that means you must accomplish?  can you be or do what you haven’t defined?  the answer is no. defining things–taking them out of the ambiguous and making them concrete, tangible, and real–is a vital starting point for both the imagination and  helping you accomplish extraordinary things in your life. so for this birthday in 2011 my request to you is, please pick at least one thing you have yet to define and define it now.

in the comments, if you are willing, i would love for you to tell me what you are defining this year along with the definition (if you have it).  i am going to spend the weekend defining a few things myself (what it means to be a great husband and director of client services/leader at work this year for starters, since they are two new roles for me).  i will share with you if you are interested.  god bless and thanks to all of those who take the time to grant me my special gift.

that’s it.  easy as pie.  but if it’s so easy, why won’t you do it?  because you never got past the first part of step #1.  you never closed your eyes, which is essential to developing a vision (dream) for yourself because your sight is the enemy of your vision. it’s counterintuitive because seeing is how we make sense of our world.  but sight, which we have grown so dependent on, is also the same thing that prevents us from imagining and believing in a better life. why?  because sight convinces us that what we see is reality for both today and tomorrow.  but both of those are lies.

gregory burn, tackles the first lie (today) in his book, iconoclast, where he explains how our eyes are simply digital cameras that transfer light to the brain, where our mind makes sense of what we are seeing based on past experiences. therefore, one’s sight is not reality, but instead contrived perceptions manufactured by the brain and based on old news.

in terms of the second lie (tomorrow), when we take our current sight (what we are seeing/feeling/experiencing today) and use it to predict our future (i’m single today so i’ll never get married, i couldn’t find a job for the last two months so i’ll never find one, etc.), we close our eyes to the true possibilities that surround us, waiting to be discovered.  hence the great proverb: “you think with your eyes so you are easy to fool.”

it is not until we can remove ourselves from our past and present (close our eyes) and dream-thus infusing our future with imagination, creativity, & new options-that we can actually begin to change life as we know it.  the choice is up to you: will you close your eyes and dream?

if you choose to close your eyes and dream, let me know in the comments.

“as it turns out — there’s a pattern — as it turns out, all the great and inspiring leaders and organizations in the world, whether it’s apple, or martin luther king or the wright brothers, they all think, act and communicate the exact same way. and it’s the complete opposite to everyone else…and it’s probably the world’s simplest idea. i call it the golden circle.

why? how? what? this little idea explains why some organizations and some leaders are able to inspire where others aren’t.”

what’s counterintuitive is that searching for those relationships is often best done after we gather all of the information we can, “chew on it,” and then stop thinking about the challenge and allow our subconscious to do the work. doing this allows us to tap into a greater processing and storage capability.  i imagine it is similar to how we work with our computers.

have you every created a folder on your desktop to access files that you need frequently?  that’s what it’s like when we directly focus on the task at hand – we are only working with the files we have stored for quick access.  however, when we go play video games, go to a movie, listen to music, or read a book, we allow our minds to tap into the rich history of memories, knowledge, and other things that may help us solve the problem but are not readily stored in our “quick access files.”

doing something else besides being consumed with the problem may feel wrong but, lucky for us, our brain actually never stops working on the problem. this is why we have that magical “eureka” moment where we believe that our great idea came out of thin air.  it didn’t.  we were working it over the entire time – searching for new combinations and relationships in the back of our mind.  the reality is, we  just didn’t know it.

so next time you have a huge marketing problem or personal problem to solve, don’t be afraid to daydream. you never know what you might come up with.

image source.

• step 1: dream/imagine/hope/believe
• step 2: contemplate the risk associated with those dreams
• step 3: eliminate the dream because it’s too risky

in this case, “what we do” with risk is use it as a reason not to pursue our dreams (find true love, start your own company, write a book, etc).  but what if you do something different with the risk you uncover?  what if, instead of using risk to eliminate the dream, you eliminate risk in order to  accomplish the dream.  our revised process would look something like this:

• step 1: dream
• step 2: contemplate the risk associated with those dreams
• step 3: eliminate the major risks that will prevent the dream from becoming a reality

what does eliminating risk while keeping the dream look like?  it’s the philosophy behind most entrepreneurs; it’s what they focus on  everyday when they go into the office.  it’s what phillipe petit did when he perfected his craft over the course of decades before he chose to walk a tight rope from one twin tower to the other.  it’s what tiger woods, michael jordon, lebron james and any other superstar athlete you can name does when they practice the same shot over and over again until it becomes automatic.

the truth is, very few people love risk and you don’t have to be one of the few.  the secret is in focusing on ways to eliminate risk that could stand in your way. what things are you doing today to eliminate potential risk involved with pursuing your dreams?  are you getting that degree?  are you meeting with the right people?  are you saving money so that you can survive for a year without pay?  leave your comment below…

unfortunately, we have a hard time distinguishing the impossible from the improbable. as a result, we inaccurately name too many things impossible and give up on them because we’ve concluded they can’t be done. is finding real love impossible or improbable?  is starting a successful company impossible or improbable?  is finding a great job in this recession impossible or improbable?

at the end of the day, deciding if something is a probability or possibility ultimately determines whether or not it can become a reality for you.  why go after the improbable?  achieving the improbable will make you happier (we’re always happier when we don’t settle for less) and famous.  not lebron james/tiger woods celebrity famous, but “let’s promote her first,” “i didn’t believe in love until i saw them together,” “there aren’t too many people who enjoy what they do like she does” famous.  what improbable things are you chasing right now?  leave your comments below.